I want to be from me
“Keep your mind still. The aim of all practices is to give up all practices.”
- R Maharishi
There was a time when I valued freedom from events in the outside world above all else. I value time more than anything these days, but I have come to realize that to have freedom from the outside I must have freedom on the inside.
Freedom From Conditioning
How I react to events outside of me is mainly due to the conditioning I have received in the past. It is not about right or wrong conditioning, which can be subjective. Regardless of whether it is “good or bad” conditioning it is a response that has been programmed into my mind from various sources. For many, much of how they live their life or how they react to events going on around them were established in the first six years of their life. As a rational thinking person do you realize that much of how you react to events is most likely the thinking of a six-year-old? Have you taken the time to examine the origins of your automatic responses? Are you mindful enough to check in with yourself to make sure you not always running on autopilot? For me, I would like to be free from all past conditioning. To be able to live in the moment and react according to the current events. Is that possible?
Freedom From The Past and Future
I don’t know about you, I can only suspect, that you are like me and spend most of your time in the past and future. Sometimes the present moment is just an infinitesimal hairline of time between an all-powerfully causative past and an absorbingly important future. This is the grand illusion of human existence. All we ever have is the eternal present. After many years of mindfulness and meditation practice along with the power of habit I have become significantly better at recognizing when this is occurring, but within a matter of seconds I find myself in the past and the future. I want to be free from this. Is It possible?
Can We Attain True Freedom?
Some disciplines would refer to the state of absolute authority over oneself as being enlightened or becoming a self-realized being. Whatever you want to call it the main question I contemplate, is this possible. Is it possible to be completely free? Does free will exist? Do you have to be a monk or a nun and live in a monastery to discover this state? Would I have to go live in a cave for a couple of decades? I’m not into camping these days. The only place that I may pitch a tent is in a hotel room. Can I achieve this while living in the world? Is it sensible to believe it is attainable at all. The answer is I don’t know. I have heard that the definition of wisdom is when one realizes that they know nothing at all. Well, at times I feel that so I guess I am gaining some wisdom, but is freedom from self even possible? I will keep peeling away the onion to uncover this. If I uncover this I’ll let you know. What will most likely happen if I do? I’ll probably stop writing this blog as I discover it is pointless. Well, until then I will keep at it.
Until Next Week,